What I Will Miss the Most

Over the past few months, I’ve been asked repeatedly what I will miss the most about being the head of The Brearley School. The answer to that question is easy: the community.  

Recently, I asked a member of the music department if he agreed that Brearley’s orchestras returned to performing after the pandemic with a richer sound than ever before. He concurred and offered that losing something you love makes you treasure it even more. His sense was that throughout the pandemic, students found peace and pleasure in practicing, and when they returned to playing together, the joy and reconnection enriched the sound. His explanation makes good sense to me. For what my colleague is talking about is the community—a group of people connecting personally through a shared endeavor or passion and a common set of values. 

Community in a big, busy city is one that we make every day and grow to depend on, especially when we feel loss, fear or a lack of control in our lives. Over vacation, a friend reminded me of a quote by Wendell Berry, "A proper community, we should remember also, is a commonwealth: a place, a resource, an economy. It answers the needs, practical as well as social and spiritual, of its members—among them the need to need one another." The notion of needing others is central to my own Brearley experience. There are too many moments to count in my time here when I have needed others and our community has generously responded. I will forever remember the “call and response” that has carried the School, setting boundaries and clarifying values, over the last 13 years. Although invisible to the eye, I felt the strength of this “commonwealth” keenly in these moments and will be forever grateful for that support. 

I anticipate feeling a little homesick for Brearley in the coming months. Though the orchestras will play on, I will miss their music and the other sweet moments that have brought such meaning to my life. But there is more for me to explore. In March, I spent time backcountry skiing in Utah with my son. With no lifts to carry us uphill, we donned light but sturdy gear that carried us through the deep snow. As we climbed the slope before sunrise to beat the warming of the snow by the morning light, I thought about a quote by the outdoorsman Yvon Chouinard, "The more you know, the less you need.” No doubt he was referring, in part, to the weight of a backpack, but I think he also speaks to the belief that with age and experience, one carries in both mind and spirit what one needs to move forward. The Brearley community has been and will continue to be a mainstay in the pack I will carry with me wherever I go.  

I may not be a Brearley girl but I certainly have had a Brearley education. Thank you!